YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE

YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE

As I drag the razor across my wrist
I don’t cry
I don’t frown
I don’t pout
Instead

I
Smile.
But what I’m doing is wrong
Because
You never wanted me to do this.
And I’m sorry
I would have never done this
If you were here

To
Calm my cry
Dry my tears
Hold me when I felt un stable
Scare my Fears
Whisper in my Ear
Hug me ’til your shirt got damp and eye liner stained

Hold my Hand
Feel my Cheek
Tell me it would "be okay"
Hold my waist
Heal my sadness
Kiss me when I stopped crying.